Ennui
by LilSleepyFoxx
Summary: Life is dull and everything is always the same. It's becoming harder to keep the numbness of boredom away. The protozoan doesn't entertain him, his humans lives are all stupidly predictable, and even his own life has become sickeningly monotonous. What does a god do when pushed to the edge?
1. Prologue

Izaya couldn't imagine a life limited by morals, ethics, or loyalties. Nothing in life is sacred, nothing is going too far if it can help satisfy his ache for entertainment. All those boundaries are just silly things humans create to make life comfortable, to make the universe seem like it has laws. Comfort isn't what he needs though, so he won't put boundaries on himself. He just needs to feel a rush of excitement! Something fun, fascinating, something new! Anything that is the absolute opposite of the mind numbing boredom he feels all too often.

The wind whips him back and forth, he's teetering on the edge of some indistinct apartment complex. The sky is starless, light pollution acts like a barrier, keeping this city separate from the rest of the universe. He hadn't planned on being here tonight. It's two in the morning and it's freezing. There's plenty of work waiting to be done at home. Even fatty tuna sits in the fridge since Namie does it every Friday night, upon Izaya's request. It's just another routine. He did ask for it to actually eat, but Namie carried out the request so easily it bored him. She could at least try poisoning it or something, maybe get the wrong kind of sushi. But she never did, she just does it as he asks, same every week.

So he had decided to go out for a walk to escape the monotony. It turned into a chase when the beast sniffed him out. Their game was usually so much fun, him having to escape what would surely be a bloody gruesome death if Shizu-chan caught him. He used to think that at least, that it was the riskiest position he could put himself in. But it always ended the same, and now there are no surprises, no chances, no risk. He always escapes and Shizu-chan always goes home.

Tonight was no different, he escaped with relative ease. Even after Shizu-chan was done giving chase though Izaya kept running, running like his life depended on it. Chest heaving from the lack of oxygen, hands scrapping against cement as he lunged himself from one roof top to another, legs burning from exertion.

The true monster of his world was chasing him still, and it didn't need to be quick. It was in him already, creeping up from the very depths of his soul. The numbness.

Standing up this high used to excite him. He would feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins, from toes to fingertips to his eyes taking in just how close certain death was. And then after fighting with Shizu-chan it was just a satisfying tingle. Now, it's nothing. Emptiness, a gnawing sense of frustration.

Izaya focuses a glare on a fading blood stain on the sidewalk below him. He knew all the stupid reasons his humans would jump. Cheating husband, school bullies, maybe even the result of information he provided. Was it just weak people that jumped? Or is there a breaking point in everybody? How about a god like himself?

He doesn't realize he's biting his lower lip till he feels blood trickle down his chin. He wipes it away with the back of his sleeve and shoves his hands in his coat pocket. With a childish bounce he makes his way from the edge of the roof to the stairwell down to go home. Surely standing up here staring into the void of what used to be one of his human's insides wasn't the solution to his problem. That's what he tried to tell himself as he made his way home. But the bored part of him kept wondering...

At what point would even he consider jumping?


	2. A Bad Night

AUTHORS NOTE: OH BOY I FUCKED UP LOL I accidently pressed the wrong document when uploading the second chapter the first time and posted a Naruto fanfiction I wrote for my friend months ago. I am INCREDIBLY sorry!

Now back to your previous program!

Chapter 1 - A Bad Night

The coffee is bitter and the winter air is crisp as it radiates through the apartment walls. Izaya looks out of the large window, mug in one hand, the other resting on the glass with his fingers tapping away to the rhythm of his thoughts. Down below is just the regular bustle of humanity in their morning routine, Izaya's least favorite time of day to observe the average person. Everyone is most predictable in the morning. Going to school, or to work, or not even coming out to see the light of day at all. He needed the harsh sting of black coffee or else the lack of activity would lull him back to sleep.

"I quit."

It's Namie, he realizes, and she's as blunt and apathetic as usual as she drops her spare key to the office on his desk.

"I didn't think your situation allowed you to quit, needing my protection and all," Izaya sighs, glancing at her reflection in the window instead of turning around.

"I got another offer, and I'm taking them up on it," pausing, she looks him up and down. He's thinner than usual and his shoulders sag as if his arms were weights. If he turned around, she thinks she would see even darker bags under his eyes than she did yesterday. The once untouchable god was withering away right in front of her eyes.

Izaya takes a sip of his coffee and hums in acknowledgement. This turn of events wasn't expected, but at the same time, it doesn't surprise him that much. She had been working with him for a few years already and she hated his guts, she must have been looking for a way out the whole time.

"Well, I wish you the best, Namie-san."

Namie grabs the coat on her desk and makes her way out the door. Before closing the door behind her, she looks back at the man who looks small in front of the large window.

"Not that I care, but you should stop drowning yourself in work to avoid your problems. You'll have a much bigger one when you make a mistake for the wrong people, and I won't be here to help you clean it up," and she closes the door behind her, not waiting to see if he will respond with some snarky remark.

Izaya's wading through a thick sludge of black that comes up to his waist. All around him is pure darkness.

The sludge is slowly rising, and it's getting more difficult to move his limbs.

The panic is setting in. Beads of sweat are rolling down his forehead. What is he even moving towards? There is nothing as far as he can see.

It's up to his shoulders now. Panting, he stops struggling. It's useless. There's nothing he can do anymore besides accept his fate.

The sludge rises over his chin and pours into his mouth and he chokes on it, trying to keep breathing as it envelopes his face.

It's the end.

He wakes up, tangled in sheets and sweaty and more exhausted than he was before he went to bed.

It's three in the morning. And Izaya is definitely awake but the air at three in the morning makes it feel like life is still a dream. That air has a way of making bad ideas sound good.

He's half dressed in five minutes, sloppy but who gave a shit. Not the other few people roaming the city at three in the morning. He needed to get out of the sludge, he needed to find a way out of the never ending haze.

"Shiiizu-chan~"

Izaya's eyes glowed red from a nearby street light, as he peered through the small window into Shizuo's apartment. He was so peacefully sleeping, it was sickening. The beast laid sprawled out on a mattress that was too small for him, snoring loudly.

Izaya opened the window and crawled in. It wasn't locked, because who would even dare try to mess with the strongest man in Ikebukuro. And the idiot probably didn't even think about burglars.

Slowly, he kneeled on the bed, hovering over his sworn enemy. A slight tingle of excitement arose from knowing the man could wake up any second and bash his skull in. Or choke him. Or break his neck. This wasn't like their chases, he was invading his territory and there was no where to run if he got caught.

Switch blade in hand, he held it just above Shizuo's chest that moved subtly with every breathe he took.

"I could cut you to pieces, Shizu-chan."

Izaya felt his voice shake with something he didn't know. Fear? Excitement? Jealousy?

"You're just a monster...," he whispered close to his face as he let the tip of the blade touch Shizuo's skin, just above his heart.

He wanted to press harder, make the blood draw. Not enough to kill, just to wound.

For a split second he didn't care what would happen, he raised his blade and with all his crazed rage and jealousy he slashed across Shizuo's chest, right along the old scar from high school.

The monster woke up.


End file.
